The internet is changing the rules of the game of love. In a world where anything is possible, a potential date - whether it be a one-night stand or the start of a more lasting relationship - can be just a click away. Anyone looking for love online can throw off their inhibitions and can say what they have never dared to before. The internet revolution has ensured that online dating has now become both widespread and commonplace. Online users can buy into the consumerist illusion that they can choose a man or woman in the same way that they would shop for groceries - this is the new hypermarket of desire. Women in particular can enjoy a new sexual assertiveness. Where once they might have looked for an emotional attachment, they are now demanding simply the right to have a good time.
However, love cannot be reduced to such simple terms. The apparently risk-free world of online dating is at odds with love in real life, which has its own demands and expectations. You cannot introduce another person into your life and expect everything to remain the same. Human beings have a way of turning your life upside down.
In this compelling book, Jean-Claude Kaufmann navigates this new emotional world and explores the tensions between sex and love, instant gratification and enduring commitment.
Introduction
Prologue: On the net
- Love's new world
- The hypermarket of desire
- A virtual slap in the face
- A New Drug
- What Does 'Just for Sex' Mean?
- The Net's Hidden Treasures
Part I: In real life
1. 'You never know what to expect'
- 'I Felt A Bit Like A Call Girl'
- 'I'm Looking For a Man'
2. First steps
- The Sound of Heels
- Why Are so Many People Stood Up?
- Inner Beauty
- Dates That Do Not Work Out
- Making a Quick Get-Away
- Having a Drink
- Who Pays the Bill?
- Getting It Right
3. Getting it right
- A New Courtly Code
- Should You Kiss on A First Date?
- At Your Own Pace
- Kino Escalation
- Chemistry
- 'If He's A Good Kisser'
4. A new dance
- The Revolution in the Dating System
- What Flirting Means
- 'Would You Like To Dance?'
- The Whole World is A Dance Hall
Part II: Pleasure and feeling
5. Should you have sex on a first date ?
- 'If You Want To'
- Where's The Harm?
- 'Slag!'
- A World Apart
- Cafés Elsewhere
6. Sex as a leisurely activity
- When Sex Broke Free From Feelings
- Sexual Liberation: How Do Things Really Stand?
- Feeling Good Together
- The Story of A.
- Post Coitum
7. The game
- The Games People Play
- A Popular Sport
- Statistics
- Some Portraits
- Disgust and Cynicism
8. The lovesex imbroglio
- A Little Love
- FWBs
- A New Relationship With Exes?
- People Still Want Long-Term Relationships
- Sex Is Not A Leisure Activity Like Any Other
- Sex, Lies and The Internet
- Sex/Love: A Historical Reversal
Part III: Women, Sex and Love
9. Unbridled pleasure?
- Provisional Freedom
- Men Never Change
- Freedom, Equality and Sexuality
- Revolt
- The Impossible Golden Mean
- A Cold, Selfish Monster
- More
10. The 'bad boy' paradox
- From Prince Charming to Bad Boy
- In Praise of Pick-Up Artists
- Return of the Bastard
11. Avoiding the traps
- Sex Today
- A Break From Normal Life
- Men As Sex Toys
- A Cycle
- The Dilemma
- Why Women Are Wallflowers
- SexLove
Conclusion
Appendix: on methodology
References
