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Contents

Introduction 1 About This Book 1 Conventions Used in This Book 2 Foolish Assumptions 2 How This Book Is Organised 3 Part I: Getting to Grips: Introducing Positive Psychology 3 Part II: Doing the Time Warp: Past, Present and Future 3 Part III: What Positive Psychology Can Do For You 4 Part IV: Positive Psychology in the Real World 4 Part V: The Part of Tens 4 Icons Used in This Book 4 Where to Go from Here 5 Part I: Getting to Grips: Introducing Positive Psychology 7 Chapter 1: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life 9 Putting the Positive in Psychology 9 Looking for a message 9 Being authentically happy 10 Building an evidence-based case 10 Measuring the good, the bad and the ugly 12 Living a positive life 12 Studying positive psychology 13 Having positive experiences 13 Recognising positive traits 15 Building positive relationships 16 Constructing positive institutions 16 Making It Worth Your While 19 Benefiting from positivity 19 Chapter 2: Why Being Healthy, Well and Happy is a Really Good Idea 21 Reaping the Health Benefits 21 A happy heart 22 Living the positive life 23 Building immunity 24 Assisting angry Andrew 26 Creating healthy habits 27 Living with Satisfaction 28 Becoming a well individual 28 Building societies with wellbeing 28 AIMing for Happiness 32 Attending to the good stuff 33 Interpreting for the best 34 Memorising effectively 35 Part II: Doing the Time Warp: Past, Present and Future 37 Chapter 3: Tackling the Past 39 Dealing with the Past 39 Mapping old issues 40 Letting go - forgiving if not forgetting 41 Knowing How to be Grateful 46 Giving thanks 47 Counting your blessings 48 Adopting a Childlike Approach 50 Being how you want to be 50 Choosing the best life 50 Chapter 4: Living in the Present 53 Dancing in the Moment 53 Creating your own energy 53 The Johari Window 54 Being mindful 56 Laying ghosts 59 Getting Into the Flow 62 Being in the zone 62 Boosting happiness and fulfilment 64 Chapter 5: Planning for the Future 65 Looking Forward Joyfully 66 Anticipating the best 70 Making positive thoughts happen 70 Developing Optimism 71 Taking the thinking questionnaire 71 Thinking positively 74 Perfect-world thinking 75 Behaving constructively 76 Focusing on What Matters 77 Sorting out priorities 78 Ditching the unimportant 79 Leaving a Legacy 80 Living with a purpose 80 Making your mark on the world 81 Putting it all together 82 Part III: What Positive Psychology can do for you 83 Chapter 6: Finding Pleasure in Life 85 What Is Pleasure? 85 The law of diminishing returns 87 Breaking free from the materialist trap 89 Finding Real Pleasures 91 Celebrating the ordinary 91 Indulging in simple pleasures 92 Having a beautiful day 93 Sleepwalking through Life 93 Waking up to smell the roses 94 Taking stock of experiences 97 Chapter 7: Engaging in Life: Using your Signature Strengths 99 Analysing Your Signature Strengths 99 Appreciating your strengths 100 Understanding your strengths 100 Considering your weaknesses 102 Playing To Your Strengths 103 Identifying your strengths and virtues 103 Using your signature strengths daily 110 Shoring up your weaknesses 111 Finding Strengths in Others 111 Recognising other people's virtues 111 Chapter 8: Developing Meaning in Life 113 Is This All There Is? 114 Rising above the humdrum 115 Making your mark on the world 116 Something Bigger Than Yourself 117 Connecting with others 117 Making a real difference 120 Chapter 9: Becoming your Best 123 Keeping Yourself Afloat 123 Sources of resilience 124 Getting through 126 Building your personal model of resilience 128 Having Fun 128 Looking for joy in your life 129 Living humorously 129 Living Confidently 131 Thinking Constructively 132 Listening to the voices 133 Building firm beliefs 133 Taking Gratitude Further 134 Seeing things afresh 135 Practising thankfulness 136 Experiencing Engagement 136 The big five strengths 136 Having self-respect and pride 137 Making Your Life Count 137 Choosing your destiny 138 Living up to your values 138 Chapter 10: Staying Healthy with Positive Psychology 141 Living Like It Matters 141 The healthy life checklist 142 Developing positive good health 143 Changing positively: The four-stage change model 144 Building a personal happiness programme 147 Overcoming Stress 149 Understanding stress 149 Taking a perspective on life, yourself and others 153 Building your resources 155 Learning to bounce back 156 Part IV: Positive Psychology in the Real World 157 Chapter 11: Making Relationships Work 159 Getting to Know You 159 Avoiding relationship pitfalls 161 Acknowledging and using each other's signature strengths 162 Using Positive Communication 164 Taking the emotionally smart approach 164 Recognising your own feelings 165 Picking up on the non-verbal signs 166 Setting the climate control 168 Keeping talking 169 Looking at you, me and us 171 Investing Your Time 172 Planning the perfect date 172 Celebrating together 173 Creating carefree holidays 173 Building great friendships 174 Chapter 12: Becoming a Positive Parent 177 Making Happiness a Habit 177 Pleasing yourself! 178 Being engaged 180 Finding meaning 182 Measuring Family Strengths 183 Recognising the best in each other 185 Defining the key elements of a happy family 190 Being the Best Parent You Can Be 192 Facing the good, the bad and the ugly of parenting 194 Being a great step-parent 195 Making Happy Children 196 Celebrating success 196 Building positive rituals 198 Avoiding excessive materialism 199 Chapter 13: Embracing the Extended Family 201 Building Family Networks 201 Making connections 202 Getting On with the In-Laws 203 Seeing the best 205 Reaching a compromise 207 Acknowledging the Elderly 207 Developing wisdom 209 Recognising change 210 Extending the Family 211 Chapter 14: Understanding Why Work Matters 213 Providing a Structure 213 Discovering how work can make you happy 214 Using your time productively 216 Right time, right focus 219 Being a Shining Star! 219 Considering you at your best 220 Sharing the limelight 221 Chapter 15: Being your Best in the Workplace 225 Knowing Your Work Strengths 225 Learning from the past 228 Swapping round pegs and square holes 229 Using your work strengths in unlikely settings 230 Using Your Strengths Meaningfully 231 Novel ways of using your strengths 232 Measuring and Increasing Your Flow 233 Knowing Your Signature Strengths 235 Getting the Team Working Well 238 Recognising strengths in others 238 Using other people's strengths to make what's good even better 238 Flourishing versus languishing teams 239 Reviewing resilience questions 242 Part V: The Part of Tens 245 Chapter 16: Ten Top Activities 247 Developing Gratitude 247 Recognising Your Blessings 248 Creating a Beautiful Day 249 Learning to Worry Well 249 Half An Hour a Day 249 My Worry Journal 250 Being Me at My Best 251 Using Sentence Completion 251 Recognising Different Facets of Yourself 254 Discovering Your Purpose 255 Learning to Be Optimistic (ABCDE) 255 Undertaking Deliberate Acts of Kindness 256 Chapter 17: Ten Useful Resources 259 www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu 259 www.centreforconfi dence.co.uk 259 www.cappeu.org 260 www.ippanetwork.org 260 www.positivepsychology.net 260 www.dalailamacenter.org 260 Authentic Happiness by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D 260 Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth by Ed Diener and Robert Biswas Diener 261 Character Strengths and Virtues by Christopher Peterson and Martin E.P. Seligman 261 Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikzentmihalyi 261 Chapter 18: Ten Positive Inspirations 263 Pay it Forward (film, 2000) 264 It's a Wonderful Life (film, 1946) 264 The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (film, 2007) 264 Thank you for being a Friend, Andrew Gold (song, 1978) 265 My Way, Frank Sinatra (song, 1969) 265 Lean on Me, Bill Withers, (song, 1972) 265 The Prophet, by Khalil Ghibran (book, 1998) 265 Random Acts of Kindness: 365 Ways to Make the World a Nicer Place, by Danny Wallace (book, 2004) 266 Who Moved My Cheese, by Spencer Jones (book, 1998) 266 The Art of Happiness: A handbook for Living, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, (book, 1999) 267 Index 269

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